i'm too tired
i'm tired of pretending that i'm happy
tired of pretending that i'm fine
tired of trying to convince myself that everything will be ok
that everything tts meant to be would be
i tried
i really have
i've been doing that for so long
but somehow
nowadays it seems so much more difficult than usual
its so much more difficult to be cheerful
or even pseudo cheerful
i'm not too sure why
just that now a days everything little thing just gets me down
makes me think..
why do i even try so hard for?
why do i try so hard to be nice and show concern for some ppl?
do they really appreciate it?
why do i try so hard for my studies?
though i know that it really concerns my future
but then..
i study so hard
i still dun understand and everything still goes to shit
why do i try so hard to be sociable?
in the end when i really need someone to talk to, someone to be there
there's still no one
i tried
i got my hopes up
then i realise
its not possible
and i'm in for a huge disappointment
no matter what
in sch,
i'm still all alone
alone in my troubles n sadness
i wish darrel was ard
jc was so good cus he was there
sighs
i want to stop trying
stop expecting things
just learn to live life alone
since we come to the world alone
i'm sure i can survive alone
so first, i must harden my heart
and stop caring
but somehow
tts really difficult
doesn't help that i remember so many things
maybe its about time i indulge in some vices and maybe they'd help me forget huh..
sighs
but i wun
it'd only hurt the ppl tt love me.
so all i can do
is try to numb the pain
and wait for darrel to make it all better again
luckily i still have darrel
...